Forgotten Promises

I told myself I would start a blog and continue it everyday, if not at least once a week.

 It has been 8 months.

But I'm back. And sad thing is, it is for the same reason as the last post. Even sadder, its the same boy. I don't know when I'll learn. A better question, I don't know when I'll grow up. I've wounded up in a circle that slowly is about to come apart.

Now, I'm here. Typing as a I think about what my life has become. I just graduated from college back in May. And since then I've been looking for jobs and moving around. I ended up with my boyfriend with a job I'm sure I'll love ( I just started Monday). You would think the world has become a better place but it only has become darker.

My boyfriend has decided to inform me last night that he is unsure of what he wants. Meaning he is unsure if he wants to commit. Meaning he is unsure if he wants to stay with me any longer. Given the circumstance sometimes I don't think I want to stay with him any longer. I guess this is what happens when you move in with each other. You grow apart. The disappointing thing is that we worked better living apart than living together.

Now I have to search for a new place to live, because all though we are not broken up yet, I feel that it has reached a point where we can probably not work anything out. I mean how are you supposed to work with someone who doesn't know if he wants to be with you? How do you work with someone who is unsure of themselves and their future? Don't get me wrong, its not like my life is planned out, but I do know where I want to be eventually. And I know more what I DON'T want to happen to me.

At least tomorrow is Friday and I've decided to go home this weekend to get away for a bit. Clear my mind. Stay away from him for a couple of days.

The worst part of all this...

it hurts so much.